Sticks, Stones, and Physical Abuse Break Bones

  I’ve seen posts all over Facebook...Mental abuse is worse than physical abuse. This statement is like a faulty bridge. It is weak and cracking with illusion. This statement is abuse in itself. The tempest truth...physical abuse beats mental abuse into submission. Physical abuse weighs on the body and digs a grave for the mind. You’re a skeleton holding on to the edge of lifeless life.

I saw both sides of the domestic terror coin. I saw the physical ailments of beatings and the draining drought of mental chaos. My sister was physically abused for 17 years. I saw a young woman glow with ambition to a tarnished heart. She was walking in the tangible world clinging to a speck of normalcy. When physically beaten, life is a war you’re trying to survive. She was a warrior fitted for battle everyday. God’s hand guided her through fiery fists and blistering bites. She is a veteran of domestic abuse. 

If you asked my sister if she would rather have her jaw broken or called a name, she would have opted for the fleeting name. Physical abuse fuels the fire with mental abuse. You are bodily beaten as wretched words flog you in the back. Bam, bang, boom, crash! Black eyes, broken ribs, and bruised skin are hot iron branded. My sister was branded with bountiful brash beatings. 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The abuser’s words feathered off my sister as broken bones welded into her mind. The beatings and floggings will always hang on the “post traumatic line” as the wilted words wither in the cabinet. My dad didn’t want to load a gun and shoot a mental abuser. He wanted to end the reign of physical terror. He said, “I did not raise my daughter to be beaten.” He did not pull the trigger that “almost” fateful day. God came upon my dad and whispered, “Revenge is mine, saith the Lord.”

Terror struck not only my sister, but the whole family. I remember playing on my jungle gym and thinking about beating my sister’s abuser. I wanted to save her. We were all affected by the waging war. My sister has since been divorced and saved by God’s grace. There are memories she’d like to burn and watch ember into non-existence. She has told me, “God protected me.” 

So, if you ask my sister or my family...no, mental abuse is not worse than physical abuse. Punching, biting, hitting, slapping, and breaking bones are worse than pillowy words.