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To Give a Little…or to Give a lot? A Sticky Pine Needle question around Christmastime


  Recently, I went over my friend’s house for Thanksgiving.  After I ate turkey and all the trimmings, we all proceeded to sit down and chat.  It was nice to have an in-depth conversation with my loving friends, Jessica and Rob.  We talked about a Facebook post.  It has been falling like snowflakes on everyone’s feed, because Christmas is flying in.  The post suggested that parents should not tell their children that high priced items (iPads, cell phones, computers, etc.) are not from Santa.  It went on to say, “Not everyone can afford gifts of that expensive stature. Little ones wonder why other children receive an iPad (etc.) and they didn’t.”  While we sat and chatted under the multi-colored Christmas lights, we all chimed in agreement…it’s the parent’s prerogative to give a little or to give a lot.  A Facebook suggestion should not scold you on your giving circumstances.

No one has the right to tell you what to buy or not to buy for your children.  If you want to buy your child a car, and you have the money to do so, that’s your business.  My mom and dad based their gift-giving on their finances.  All parents should take their monetary allowance into mind.  I wouldn’t suggest going into debt to buy an African diamond.  No, please, don’t.  Let the money in your wallet dictate your expenses for Christmas.  Children do need to learn how to use their money wisely.  You, the parent, are their example. So, if some Christmas days are more lack luster than others, that’s okay.  Children will learn lessons in limitations and pencil down points of prosperity.  Here are the lessons I learned from my childhood…     

I remember Christmas days where I would run down the stairs and look upon presents galore.  The fire glistened off the wrapped gifts.  My brother and I were the stars of “Babes in Toyland”.  We unwrapped, ripped, and untied present after present.  Our smiles grew like the flickering flames.  I was about 12 years old that flourishing Christmas.  Even though, I was still a child, I knew my dad’s business thrived that year.  Years later, after that childhood Christmas, my mom recalled a memory.  She said my dad mentioned, “We need to get them more presents, San.”  He was an “out-giving” soul.  That generous spirit was due to his childhood.  My dad’s childhood was horrific.  He was offered crumbs for dinner after working the land at 10 years old.  Presents did not lay under the tree awaiting to be opened.  Thus, he wanted to give his family the world and more.  I believe some parents “out-give” because of their childhood memories.  Those memories were like embers, lull and dull.  They want their children to experience the opposite.  They want them to feel like a roaring fire, full of excitement and glowing with happiness.  You can not hold a parent responsible for wanting to give their children the best Christmas possible.  Don’t shoot down their bequeathing benevolence.

One year was a present blooming Christmas and another year we were living in our camper.  I learned what was behind the glowing fireplace…family is the most precious gift.  Family is priceless and the memories are gold.  I was in my teenage years when my dad lost his business.  He had terminal cancer.  So, my dad became the maintenance manager at our campground.  That year we (me, my brother, mom, dad, and our little dog, Jacque Cousteau) lived and resided in our fifth wheel.  We went from 1,300 square feet to 420.  Our small space brought us closer together as a family.  Christmas came upon a snowy day.  The snow perched on pine trees and my dad’s Ford truck.  We gathered around the electric fireplace in the camper.  Even though, we lived studio living, it did have its modest luxuries.  We all took turns opening presents.  1…2…3.  It didn’t take long to unwrap the few gifts we received.  I knew that year my dad took a big cut in pay.  He didn’t own his own business anymore because of his health.  I knew my dad could pass away in a couple of years.  Our presents didn’t include electronics or shiny things.  They were paper bound.  My brother received a blue bible to study, and we gave my dad a humble hymnal.  Togetherness and love covered us that Christmas day like a snow blanket.  We learned from “out-giving” or lack luster Christmases, that the love of your family is the dearest gift.

So, whoever specified in the Facebook post, “Don’t tell your child that expensive gifts are from Santa”, I think you should re-evaluate your share.  Parents shouldn’t be told what to say to their child.  Parents shouldn’t be told what to do with their child.  Everyone is going through different financial circumstances, and they shouldn’t be faulted for that.  All parents have different backgrounds and childhoods, and they also shouldn’t be faulted for that.  Children will learn and grow from all the life experiences they go through, even living in a fifth wheel.  They will learn love, patience, and wisdom with money if the parent sets a good example.  This Christmas buy a lot or buy a little for your littles, that’s your prerogative. 

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